I'm fascinated by HBO's Real Sex. There are so many weird fetishes out there that I never conceived of. I never realized I was so vanilla.

But the whole time I'm watching, I'm thinking... where do these people come from? How do they find each other? Even more perplexing, how does a television show know to find them in order to do a segment about them? Take the horse people for example.

I imagine it going down this way:

Two strangers at a race track, casting furtive glances at one another.

Person 1: I love horses...
Person 2: Me, too. They're so strong and graceful.
Person 1: Fast, too.
Person 2: Yeah.
Perons 1: You see that one there? Look at that shiny coat! I wish my hair were that shiny.
Person 2: You should buy some mane and tail shampoo... I use it by the case.
Person 1: You do have nice hair...

Awkward silence. Eyes dart around nervously.

Person 1: Hey... speaking of horses... you know what I like to do? I like to put on a skimpy leather outfit, stick a bit in my mouth and prance around like a horse. Do you ever do that?
Person 2: Actually... I do. And sometimes I make my boyfriend chase me around the house with a riding crop.
Person 1: Fun!
Person 2: I also have my own saddle.
Person 1: Get out of town -- I thought I was the only one!

They share a laugh, the tension quickly dissipating. They don't notice the stranger who has paused to listen in on their conversation.

Person 3: Excuse me... I don't mean to interrupt, but did I hear you correctly? You like to pretend that you're a horse?

Person 1 prepares to scold him about butting in on people's private conversation. Person 3, sensing imminent danger, quickly clarifies.

Person 3: Allow me to introduce myself... my name is John... but my horse name is Thunder. (he paws at the ground)

They attempt to grasp the impossibility of three people who love to play horsie, all ending up in the same room.

Person 1: Wild!
Person 2: Hey -- crazy idea -- why don't we get together next weekend and have a chariot race?
Person 3: I'll bring apples!
Person 1: I'll bring carrots!
Person 2 whinnies in excitement.

I'm not judging... what happens in the privacy of one's bedroom and all... I just can't fathom the conversation that brings this up in the first place. I can't figure out how they get from point A (revelation) to point B (large gathering of horse people, none of whom think this behavior is the least bit strange). To each their own. (Ha! I said bit! Sorry, puns crop up in my blogs from time to time, it's a curse I'm saddled with, sometimes it's a stall tactic... but hay... somebody bale me out!) 

Now the baby people, on the other hand... the baby people are downright disturbing...

Haircut came out good... I think. I never know for sure until I wash it and style it myself (and don't worry Brian, the front is still long, I told him I was trying to grow it out and he listened). For tonight, I've locked the scissors away and I'm going to veg out and watch the lightning storm (or flash photography) outside. I was a good girl and did my treadmill all week, so I get tonight off.

BTW, at work, we get 'lightning alerts.' They send a mass email out to let people know that there might be lightning somewhere in a six mile radius. I await, with dread, the day that they lock the building down and won't let us leave until the danger has passed...

I wonder what would have happened if the pioneers had gotten lightning alerts...
 

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