Today was much better, felt like I accomplished a lot, and no one insinuated that I lacked compassion. Only thing that sucked was the two rejections I got, one of which was from an agent I was really hoping to snag. I'm telling myself that everything happens for a reason.

At the end of the workday, on a whim, I went to happy hour. I don't normally like Wednesday night happy hours, because it screws with my head and I think the next day should be a Saturday. And I can't stay out all night and get crazy. Of course I had a blast. A good friend of mine is in town and I always enjoy hanging out with her (as well as the rest of our gang). I think of her as sunshine incarnate, she just makes you feel good. I've missed her. But the good news is, work brings her to town from time to time, so we can still hang out, and when I go to see the shuttle launch, I'll see her again for sure.

And more good news, I might still go to OKC. My friend said he would be willing to drive, and that significantly cuts down on the cost, so I can afford to do it. Now I just have to talk to my boss and make sure I can work some comp time so that I can have a Friday off. I need all the current vacation time I have to go to Scotland... but I am dying to do this. I think it's going to be so much fun... I'm trying to talk a couple more people into doing it.

So now.... I'm winding down for the night. Tomorrow I promised someone that I was going to wear a skirt, so I'm a little flustered about that... I know it's probably going to cause a stir, because I never wear them. Then again, maybe no one will notice... and even if they do, I kind of like causing a stir sometimes, as long as it's a good one.
 
 
I was all excited about Mooyah Burger... I made the arduous drive down the area's most congested street -- I even had to get my ass out of the car because there's no drivethru... It seemed so promising... line after line of catchphrases: "fresh-meat-never-frozen", "choose-your-own-toppings", "all-toppings-included-in-the-price", "real ice cream". I was salivating something fierce. The decor was cool... sort of retro with red floors, and an industrial-type ceiling where you see the ductwork. Fingers were crossed. Outlook good.

Got home and tore into the bag... The fries were tasty. The shake was tasty. The burger... not so much... I couldn't taste the beef or the bun, all I tasted was the mooyah sauce, the tomatoes and the pickles (and the lingering scent of lettuce, which I picked off, because I forgot to tell them that I don't like it on my burger). It probably sounds like a flavor explosion, but overall it was fairly bland. Disappointment set in. I have to work extra hard on the treadmill tonight and I didn't even enjoy my splurge... Suck-o-rama. Turns out that the best thing about Mooyah Burger is that it reminds me of Mooby's and that reminds me of Kevin Smith. Yea for Kevin Smith!

So last night I made it about 3/4 of the way through The Devil's Rejects before I gave up. I didn't even chicken out, I just got tired of watching impossible situation after impossible situation. The characters were so unlikeable that I didn't even flinch when the torture started... the kind of people they were... I just couldn't find it within myself to feel sorry for them. I have an evil side (that I supress) and it was pleased, because they deserved it. To summarize... huge fan of Zombie's music, but his movies? Not so much. I tried though, I really did.

Real world observation... it's amusing to watch a power struggle between polite people.

My trip to OK got delayed by a week. I did manage to find a discount on the hotel room... airfare is still the same. Pretty sure I'm still going to do it, but now it's looking a smidge less likely (more time to talk myself out of it). I'm a little like that girl in Serendipity... I look for signs, and when things start to get complicated... I start to wonder if that's not the universe's way of telling me to back off. Maybe that's silly, but I've already copped to being a silly girl.

So I'm fairly convinced that there's someone out there who has nothing better to do than follow me around and sabotage my chances of having a love life. Not literally, I hope, but I'm running out of explanations as to why things always look so promising and suddenly take a nose dive. Maybe that person is me? I am, after all, the common denominator. I dunno. Maybe things were never that promising, I just chose to wear the rose-colored glasses. This afternoon I imagined two characters having a conversation. One of them recognizes that she's alone, but says she's given up. The other person calls her out on it, says surely she hasn't given up. She asks what it matters -- whether she tries or whether she doesn't, the outcome is the same. That's kind of how I feel.

Refer back to the flowchart.

Tomorrow I get my hair cut. Was supposed to be today, but my stylist got sick. STRESS!!! And that means no happy hour, because I'm getting my hair cut instead... Maybe I'll try to put another HH together next Friday. Last one was fun... small and relaxed... the kind I like... no drama, just fun.
 
 
I've decided to be spontaneous. I have a friend who plays at Michael Murphy's in Oklahoma City, and next month I'm going to go see him play. Okay... maybe knowing that it's a month out isn't exactly spontaneous, but the decision to go was - and I'm proud of me. Let me have my moment.

I used to play the clarinet in high school, and I was good enough that I made it into the symphonic band. Every year we took a trip, kind of the way I take my vacations now... one year it was a local trip, the following year it would be someplace far away. Each year we had to hoof it around our neighborhoods, knock on people's doors and ask them to buy crap so that we could fund our trip. Luckily I always managed to pay for my trip without getting abducted by a pedophile.

Anyway, I loved band trips, they were fun. I miss the experience of going out of town in a group and getting crazy (though the definition of 'crazy' has greatly changed in the last several years). I hadn't done it in a long, long time until one of my friends got married in St. Louis a couple of years ago. It reminded me how much fun it can be to hang out with the same people in a different environment. This group will be a little bit of a stretch for me because I don't know everyone, but I'm trying to open myself up to new experiences.

I'd never thought about Oklahoma very much... not to visit... just to pass through. It's one of those states that doesn't seem to come up in conversation... not like New York or California. Well baby, they've been keeping secrets, because I was looking at the tourism website and it looks awesome! Besides Michael Murphy's, they have a dadgum river walk, just like San Antonio, but they call theirs Brick Town! And while I'm there, I am going to try to make it out to see the Survivor Tree. So I'm very much looking forward to this because I know it's going to be a blast!

Last night's hour on the treadmill seemed longer than the night before, but I did it - and I burned 100 more calories to boot. And I'm going to do it again tonight. So far, so good on the soda, too. It feels good to commit to something and not talk myself out of it. I'm pretty weak willed most of the time, but I'm also ornery. I'm an exercise in frustration is what I am!

Oh, and since I added the Survivor Tree to my bucket list, I forgot that watching a shuttle launch was also supposed to be on there. I want to do that next year.
 

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