Or at least maybe it should be. I was joking with a friend this afternoon and I told him he was a bad person for something he did. He said he goes into the box for two minutes, full of guilt, but when he comes out life goes on. That's the way it should be. Too many of us let guilt eat at us forever, feeling bad about things we did years ago... other people let it go... we should let it go. He probably didn't know it was profound, but it kinda was.

I posted my query letter at The Public Query Slushpile yesterday. It's a really neat site where they do peer to peer review like they do on Absolute Write, but it's smaller, more personal, and not so overwhelming. I didn't realize I'd gotten any comments on it until I got a message that another query had been posted. When I clicked the link my own query came up and I had nine really great comments. I've only been on it since yesterday, but I feel like maybe this is the writing community I have been looking for. The people seem nice. I made a deal with another author, she's going to beta read my novel, and I get to read hers when she finishes her current draft. I'm looking forward to it, the book sounds really good... for one thing it's got dragons in it, but just overall the story sounds right up my alley.

The whole experience re-energized me. The comments were so positive that they pulled me out of my funk, they gave me back my belief in my story, and I plan to spend part of my weekend making sure that I get my snail mail queries into the mail. I haven't touched the book in over a month, so tonight I'm going to revisit it with a fresh eye.

I was talking to another friend about self-esteem and self-confidence. I told him that I think musicians, artists and writers grapple with them more because we create things and then we put them out there to be judged. The things we create are personal, so we're exposing ourselves more than other people might. We're our own worst critics and we're sensitive dammit. I wish I was a more positive person, but I'm fairly cynical. I do, however, cheer my friends on. I think they're the bees knees. We have a mutual admiration society. They keep me going.

And am I the only one who finds that Gillette Venus commercial offensive? With the woman walking by, and the foliage in the background changing shape to match the way she trims her personal area... it's borderline lewd. I know it's old by now, but it's always bugged me.
Ran across an interesting article on how NYC is dealing with its increasing homeless population. Sounds like a decent idea to me, but I do see where the critics are coming from when they say that it doesn't address the underlying issues. It's like a bandaid. It's easy to suggest that families should pitch in and help their own, but that's too simple because it doesn't take into account that some of these people might not have families, they may have drug problems, they may have mental issues, their families might not have the means to help, etc. But to the critics, I ask - is it really up to the city of NY to address the underlying causes? Whose responsibility is it?

It's hard for me to say because I have always been torn when it comes to the issue of helping people (one of the things that intrigued me about Atlas Shrugged). The majority of my makeup is inclined to want to help people who have fallen on hard times, but there's a part of me that bristles at the expectation of it. And the pessimist in me chimes in that some of those people don't actually want help, they just want a free ride in life and they play on people's sympathies. It's hard to know who deserves help and who's just taking advantage, who can be helped and who's hopeless. The problem is too complex.

So on to lighter fare...

I watch tv when I work out on the treadmill (I bought my own because it was $15 less than a year's membership to the gym). Most of the time I watch fluff, because I can't always hear everything, and I'm only half paying attention... it's not the time to watch something I'm truly interested in. That being said... last night I watched Addicted to Beauty. Just what the world needs, another plastic surgery show. A particularly scary one I might add... they make it seem as if you need plastic surgery to look beautiful, when in fact, three of the women on there look downright malformed. Have I mentioned my extreme distaste for lip plumping?

During the course of the show, the owner of the place called everyone into her office to discuss their appearance, and she actually suggested that one of the girls should fix her teeth, told her that she would have had her teeth fixed before she got the breast augmentation if it had been her. She needs to look in the damn mirror before she starts making suggestions. She's a couple of surgeries away from looking like that cat woman. If all that didn't turn my stomach, there's this game on the website to show you exactly how imperfect they think you are.

This article pretty much summarizes my own opinions of the show, except that the reporter thinks the 'game' is cool... Let's call a spade a spade... it's not a game, it's a marketing tool designed to play on your insecurities. If I learned anything from last night's show, it's that they are there to sell you something whether you need it or not (big part of the show was centered around a sales contest).

So after my workout I felt like crap - not about my appearance - I was really queasy, and it stuck with me all night. It was touch and go a couple of times, and I'm not sure I wouldn't have felt better if I had puked... I feel better but I don't want to upset the apple cart by trying to do too much. I'm at home now, watching Ex-Treme Dating... there's not much on and I don't feel like doing anything more than sitting on my butt, so it might be time for a Gilmore Girls marathon (god how I miss that show).

Ah well, this too shall pass.  ;)