My allergies are killing me and I am sitting on the couch with a stuffy, yet runny nose... feeling like crap.

Since I feel like doing nothing, I scanned the web and I bring you the most interesting, yet disturbing, articles I have come across thus far:

Latvians Mortgage Their Souls

DIY Plastic Surgery: This is Not a Hoax

Making Lightbulbs Out of 2-Liter Bottles (not disturbing, just interesting)

Canned Vampire Herring

And a disturbing money saving tip... hopefully borne of desperation and not mere frugality: using cloth diapers as toilet paper, collecting them in a garbage can that can be closed up, and washing them to reuse... Ew. I get the concept, but ew.
 
 
Eeeee! I mixed my own eyeshadow color for the first time tonight! So cool!

Was a little disappointed to find that my pretty "plum passion" eyeshadow was merely the distributor's purple in a smaller package with a heftier price tag.  If I was going to sell it I would at least mix it with something else so that it would be unique... Ah well... live and learn. I noticed that there were a couple of sellers who had taken the colors and merely repackaged them in smaller sizes. I suppose I shouldn't judge, that's what resellers do... it's pretty universal. So the moral of the story is... good thing I love the color... I have shitloads of it now. The sample baggies I bought are pretty huge when you think about how much you actually use... infinite possibilities.

OKC fell through for a second time, at least for that particular weekend. Maybe we can get a group together and go another weekend. It just wasn't meant to be.

I've got jerk chicken marinating in the fridge (or as I like to call it "ex-boyfriend chicken"). I ran across an awesome recipe. It's pretty easy, especially tomorrow when all I have to do is toss it onto the grill, and the flavor is amazing... I've made it a few times now, and everyone loves it. I'm having people over, it was a last minute decision - but the amazing part is that I don't think anyone turned me down - on a holiday weekend no less! Wow! So I'm looking forward to hanging out and having fun tomorrow. Yea for fun! Screw painting trim... I can do that on Monday. =)
 
 
If you want to get someone's attention, try telling them you're not wearing any pants.

I wore a skirt to work today, and it was the first time in a loooooong time. Some people thought there was a guy involved (wrong), others thought I was going on an interview (also wrong), a lot of people just didn't know what to think. It was sort of a social experiment to stir the pot, and it worked. I like to do that from time to time. I did get a lot of compliments, and it wasn't a horrible experience, so I might do it again in the future. Maybe.

About midday I realized that I wasn't wearing any pants... it was true... but it's all a matter of perspective. It's fun to see people's faces when they take it at face value, before they realize that you're not wearing pants... you're wearing a skirt... people turn really pretty shades of red. And then there are the pervs who hear something completely different... boo...

So this morning I started up the car, and there was a new, unfamiliar light on the dashboard, and a bell. I was a little freaked because I thought maybe it was the oil. I needed to stop and get gas anyway, so I pulled in and consulted the owner's manual... tire pressure monitoring system... sigh... So I drove slowish and called in the reinforcements to air up my tires. Luckily they didn't require much air so there's probably not a hole in my tire... they weren't flat by any means. It was just scary, because I'm tired of all the shit that keeps going wrong with my house, and didn't need my car to start falling apart, too. I already have to get my visor replaced next time I take it in. This will be the second visor I've had, and I don't abuse them, they're just cheap plastic and that's why they disintegrate so quickly. Easy peasy, except that it's floppy and is hanging by an electrical wire.

It's a holiday weekend... good time to paint the vinyl trim around my windows and put up soffit vent covers... if the weather's nice. If there's anything better going on, then I'll gladly sidetrack those projects. I should probably pick up my novel and have another pass, but I haven't felt like it. Not good. I haven't been writing. Also not good, even though I know where book 2 is headed, I still need to be writing that down. Bottom line is that I've gotten discouraged and I have to figure out how to overcome that. Maybe next week's a good time to have lunch with Rachel and get hyped back up, talking to another writer will probably help...
 
 
Today was much better, felt like I accomplished a lot, and no one insinuated that I lacked compassion. Only thing that sucked was the two rejections I got, one of which was from an agent I was really hoping to snag. I'm telling myself that everything happens for a reason.

At the end of the workday, on a whim, I went to happy hour. I don't normally like Wednesday night happy hours, because it screws with my head and I think the next day should be a Saturday. And I can't stay out all night and get crazy. Of course I had a blast. A good friend of mine is in town and I always enjoy hanging out with her (as well as the rest of our gang). I think of her as sunshine incarnate, she just makes you feel good. I've missed her. But the good news is, work brings her to town from time to time, so we can still hang out, and when I go to see the shuttle launch, I'll see her again for sure.

And more good news, I might still go to OKC. My friend said he would be willing to drive, and that significantly cuts down on the cost, so I can afford to do it. Now I just have to talk to my boss and make sure I can work some comp time so that I can have a Friday off. I need all the current vacation time I have to go to Scotland... but I am dying to do this. I think it's going to be so much fun... I'm trying to talk a couple more people into doing it.

So now.... I'm winding down for the night. Tomorrow I promised someone that I was going to wear a skirt, so I'm a little flustered about that... I know it's probably going to cause a stir, because I never wear them. Then again, maybe no one will notice... and even if they do, I kind of like causing a stir sometimes, as long as it's a good one.
 
 
I came home, ate, and fell asleep for two hours, so now I'm groggy. In addition to that, my allergies have been acting up all day. I just want to go back to bed and sleep until it's time to go to on vacation.

It's been one of the crappiest days I've ever had the misfortune to be a part of and I would tell you all about it except that the person I'm bitching about could very well be you... and then you'd just be that much more disappointed in me -- which is unfortunate, because if you had listened to what I had to say, you might have understood where I was coming from. Instead, you'd already made your assumptions, so you talked over me. You weren't the least bit interested in hearing my side of the story because yours made you feel so high and mighty.

Please don't be offended, if after everything you said to disparage my character, I'm no more than cordial to you. I apologize that I will no longer be able to rush to your defense when people point out your ineptitude. Just rest assured that I'm probably not talking about you, and if you think I am, you should listen to this song by Carly Simon... she's probably talking about you, too. To put it in legal terms -- the characters and events portrayed in this blog are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

I'm going to pour myself a glass of wine, run a hot bubble bath and forget about everything else.
 
 
I really need some. I usually fall asleep with the television on, but last night there was a thunderstorm, so I turned the tv off because I wanted to hear the rain. The last time I looked at the clock, it was after two... my mind wouldn't shut down... that's why the tv stays on. Today Kristy's a sleepy girl who talks about herself in third person... that can't be good...

If it wasn't such an icky job, I would become a plumber. Twenty minutes... two guys... $140 (goodbye Oklahoma City, I miss you already). But both my toilets flush a lot faster, and no water comes out what I will now refer to by its semi-correct name - the cleanout something-or-other. Even the water from the bathtub drains more quickly. And I just got a call from the plumber. He usually he comes out himself, this time two of his helpers came out instead... he said next time it happens I should call the city, because the clog was near the main and it would be their responsibility to fix it... and they'll repair it, not just clean it out... for free. I appreciate his honesty, that's why I continue to use him.

I finally went next door and checked out the flipper house. I wish I had seen it before he started so I could make a true comparison, but I have to say, it looks really good. He's painted all the walls, remodeled both bathrooms and the kitchen (only thing I would change is to put a bigger bathtub in, cuz I luvs me some bubble baths and those tiny little ones just don't cut it), put in new windows and doors, and new fixtures. I really like the doors they added... they installed a back door to replace the side door, they walled up the side door so they have more wall space, and they replaced the windows that face the courtyard with a sliding glass door - which makes a hell of a lot more sense. They treated for termites, repaired the foundation, redid part of the ceiling where there was water damage, poured patios and repaired holes in the drywall, and next week they're going to put in the flooring. It looks downright homey, but good gravy that's a ton of work!

He also said there were mice everywhere when they first went in, so I correctly guessed where my two houseguests came from last winter. Luckily I have a cat who rid me of the problem before it became a problem. Two mice, two days... one dead mousey and one lucky one that I took pity on and tossed out the door on the condition that he tell his friends to stay the hell away from my house... seems to have worked. They were cute... but they were mice.

The contractor is such a nice guy. He's Brazilian and has been doing remodels since he was nine years old (with his dad). He offered to show me some of the other houses he's working on, apparently he works for these people regularly; after this house he has another one to work on. I don't know if I'll take him up on the offer... he's nice, but I don't know him so I don't trust him, and in all seriousness, looking at pretty new houses always makes me dissatisfied with what I have... even though I love my house, despite all the damn money it's cost me this year... Guess it depends on where the houses are.

He told me I should have about 5 years left on my roof, and gave me a couple of tips to help prolong it. He was going to give me a huge bucket of paint that he didn't use, and said when he went onto the roof tomorrow, he'd clean mine off where the pine needles have collected. If he follows through, he will have already done more for me than any of my ex-boyfriends... Either I need to flirt my butt off and snag this guy, or I need to keep this in mind next time I get into a relationship... I like it when guys do things for me! I'm the Queen High Mistress of the Universe - I deserve it, right? Right!

Note to Brian -- I didn't realize I had a problem until Sunday when I saw the water coming up from the ground. The gurgling happened once before about a year ago when they were doing something to the water lines, so I figured it might go away on its own after a couple of days . I thought the tank issue was a problem with the seal, not the sewer, because my toilet flushed. I called the plumber a day after I put everything together, so pthbbb -- I didn't exactly wait.
 
 
Yesterday I did diddly-squat.

Okay, not true. Not exactly. I made another disappointing recipe out of the Cook Yourself Thin cookbook... so far I've made four recipes... so far all four have sucked. This one actually made me want to vomit... and I'm not kidding.

I ended up surfing the net to find suppliers and information on how to make lotions, bath salts, and bath bomb fizzies. I tend to like scents that aren't readily available mass market, and I like the idea of controlling the ingredients that go into it, so -- if nothing else -- I would like to try it out as a hobby. But I would like it even better if I could turn it into a business. All of those things should have a decent shelf life, and I know there's a market there if you do it right. I'm thinking that if I do pursue it... a lot of people might get lotion for Christmas this year... I'm sorry, but things are tight right now and they'll just have to understand. More on that later. *

Funny thing happened while I was researching, I found several really interesting sites that were completely unrelated... that's how I think the internet contributes to short attention spans and ADD... you never finish anything because you're constantly distracted by other things. Information overload... but some good can come out of it, like angryalien.com... that's good stuff...

So, accordingly, I updated my Random Stuff page to add the pages that I really liked, and then I realized categories were beginning to reveal themselves and I reorganized the page to reflect that. Got to check 'sense of accomplishment' off my daily list. J/K.

One really cool website I found was The Simple Dollar. I like the way the guy writes, and the information is helpful, too. I quickly got addicted and spent no less than two hours reading his blogs and following links. Another is a website that my cousin, Beth introduced me to a few years back, Pioneer Woman. She's hilarious, but my favorite part of her website is that she includes yummy recipes, and she takes pictures of each stage in the process so you can see it (and I reiterate that she's hilarious). I want to be her when I grow up. There are a couple of others, but those are my two favorites at the moment. Check out the revamped Random page if you're interested.

So I am, once again, considering the name change to Job. I have a new home repair issue to contend with:

Exhibit# 1 - My toilet tank has been refilling itself on a fairly regular basis for the past month or so. I thought it was a leaky seal and was going to go get a part to fix it... eventually. My spidey senses weren't tingling. They were just mildly irritated at the fact that I would have to make a trip to Home Depot, because I still don't know where they moved to and I suspect it's the hellish high traffic area down the road that's going to cause me a lot of unnecessary stress. I hate playing dodgeball, especially with my car.

Exhibit# 2 - The last couple of weeks there has been a whine coming from my kitchen faucet when I turn it on... I remember that sound calmly being referred to as 'air in the line.' Eh, there wasn't a sense of urgency... it sounded like something that would eventually work itself out. The spidey senses didn't give a crap.

Exhibit# 3 - The last couple of days as the water was draining from my bathtub, there was a horrific, guttural sound originating from my kitchen sink (scary if you're not expecting it and haven't yet identified where it's coming from). Now... my spidey senses are a little freaked out by the gurgling, but they still weren't catching on to the urgency of the situation.

I'm going to sue my spidey senses for negligence. It was all starting to add up but I was oblivious because a few months back they worked on the water lines and some of that same shit happened.

Where it started to get ugly was (Exhibit# 4) when I opened my blinds this morning and saw the water coming up out of the pipe outside my master bedroom. Two things became apparent to me at that point - 1) the toilet had just been flushed, and 2) there was toilet paper on the ground surrounding the puddle that was forming around this geyser... and it was unrelated to the spirited game of pass the plunger we played last weekend.

Yippee.

So I called my insurance company and filed a claim. I'm assuming this has something to do with my foundation repair, and I'm hoping it's covered. It occurred to me to wonder if, since I have three different policies (homeowner's, windstorm and flood), do I also have three deductibles? I've already met my windstorm deductible, so do I also have to meet the homeowner's deductible, too? If the answer if yes, then S of a B... that sucks.

And I think I actually shot my own self in the foot... I stopped donating to charities because I don't have the extra dough, but I did still attempt to do a good deed by starting the coupon exchange, and then this happens... Gawd... can you imagine what would have happened if I had gotten around to volunteering to work with Habitat for Humanity??? Hopefully this link between good deeds and bad luck will fade by the end of the year and I can get back to being a good person again... I really want to eventually do H for H...

So I'm thinking that with the gig having been pushed out a week, and this new development, that's God's way of telling me to forget about Oklahoma. I think it's also his way of telling me to sell all that shit I bought on EBay (and Cook Yourself Thin) last year, back to people on EBay... instead of letting it sit in my closet of shame, unused, gathering dust and guilt.

Or maybe Suze Orman put a whammy on me for not having an emergency fund...

Or maybe should have the house exorcised...

So this is my parting nugget of wisdom... if you don't own a house... if you're thinking it's a good investment... that you get tax breaks... that you build equity... IT'S A LIE, PEOPLE!!! DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!! YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF IT, WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT, AND WHEN YOU ADD UP EVERYTHING YOU'VE SPENT IT WILL SICKEN YOU!!!

Okay... I feel better now...
 
 
Original, eh? lol

It's amazing the things you can learn on YouTube. Seriously. A whole new world has been opened up for me. I had gotten all excited about the loose mineral eyeshadows I found on Etsy, so I went on YouTube to learn what they meant when they said you could use them wet to create a "foiled" look. I suspected it meant you could somehow make the eyeshadow look shiny, like foil (I was right).

While on that quest, I ran across a video of someone mixing their own mineral makeup, and I followed a link to a place where you can buy your own raw materials. That was so exciting to me... the ability to mix my own eyeshadows, create my own colors, control the ingredients that go into them. So I went a little crazy, but I put a limit on myself and moved a lot into my wish list. In the back of my mind I'm hoping I can get good at it, figure out how to balance rich color with adhesion but still have something that glides on smoothly, and maybe I can sell it. I also found soap and candle making supplies, which has always interested me, too (but I'm not ready to take that plunge).

Yipee!

Then I went back to YouTube and found videos on how to create your own mixing medium, which allows you to use eyeshadow as liner. I found videos on how to press your loose mineral eyeshadow so you can put them into compacts (and where to buy the compacts and pans)... how to make your own pans for the eyeshadow to go into if you don't want to buy them... all kinds of neat stuff.

Pretty much anything you want to know... someone out there knows it and it's probably on YouTube. What floors me are all the young girls who somehow have this knowledge! I was always fascinated by makeup, mom and dad would do their grocery shopping and I would spend the whole time in the makeup aisle. I didn't know much aside from what I read in magazines, but these little girls know how to do all kinds of things. I don't know where they learned it.

My mom didn't really wear makeup, so she didn't pass much on -- in fact, I'm kinda proud to say that I convinced her to let me do her makeup once and she actually liked it, so from that point on she started wearing it that way. I also learned from watching other women put their makeup on, and reading books. It's fascinating to me, because everyone does it differently. I've learned that the key is blending to avoid harsh lines, and I've learned about contouring. Makeup can do a lot for you.

So today I got a YouTube subscription update, scanned through what interested me and watched a couple of videos. I've posted about Kandee before, she had several new videos so I watched a couple, and then afterward they post 2-3 add'l videos as teasers, and they kind of cycle through, and I ran across this one of her sharing her life story. It's incredibly sad but also very uplifting. I find it amazing that she can remain so positive in the face of that much adversity. So here it is, it's kind of long, but doesn't seem that way as you watch it.

P.S.  I know how she felt when she says, 'and ten people watched my video!' I feel the same way when I see the numbers climb. I haven't reached 1,000 yet, but frankly I'm surprised that I have over 700 hits.

Jeff -- LOL, good one -- glad you didn't rein it in!
 
 
I'm fascinated by HBO's Real Sex. There are so many weird fetishes out there that I never conceived of. I never realized I was so vanilla.

But the whole time I'm watching, I'm thinking... where do these people come from? How do they find each other? Even more perplexing, how does a television show know to find them in order to do a segment about them? Take the horse people for example.

I imagine it going down this way:

Two strangers at a race track, casting furtive glances at one another.

Person 1: I love horses...
Person 2: Me, too. They're so strong and graceful.
Person 1: Fast, too.
Person 2: Yeah.
Perons 1: You see that one there? Look at that shiny coat! I wish my hair were that shiny.
Person 2: You should buy some mane and tail shampoo... I use it by the case.
Person 1: You do have nice hair...

Awkward silence. Eyes dart around nervously.

Person 1: Hey... speaking of horses... you know what I like to do? I like to put on a skimpy leather outfit, stick a bit in my mouth and prance around like a horse. Do you ever do that?
Person 2: Actually... I do. And sometimes I make my boyfriend chase me around the house with a riding crop.
Person 1: Fun!
Person 2: I also have my own saddle.
Person 1: Get out of town -- I thought I was the only one!

They share a laugh, the tension quickly dissipating. They don't notice the stranger who has paused to listen in on their conversation.

Person 3: Excuse me... I don't mean to interrupt, but did I hear you correctly? You like to pretend that you're a horse?

Person 1 prepares to scold him about butting in on people's private conversation. Person 3, sensing imminent danger, quickly clarifies.

Person 3: Allow me to introduce myself... my name is John... but my horse name is Thunder. (he paws at the ground)

They attempt to grasp the impossibility of three people who love to play horsie, all ending up in the same room.

Person 1: Wild!
Person 2: Hey -- crazy idea -- why don't we get together next weekend and have a chariot race?
Person 3: I'll bring apples!
Person 1: I'll bring carrots!
Person 2 whinnies in excitement.

I'm not judging... what happens in the privacy of one's bedroom and all... I just can't fathom the conversation that brings this up in the first place. I can't figure out how they get from point A (revelation) to point B (large gathering of horse people, none of whom think this behavior is the least bit strange). To each their own. (Ha! I said bit! Sorry, puns crop up in my blogs from time to time, it's a curse I'm saddled with, sometimes it's a stall tactic... but hay... somebody bale me out!) 

Now the baby people, on the other hand... the baby people are downright disturbing...

Haircut came out good... I think. I never know for sure until I wash it and style it myself (and don't worry Brian, the front is still long, I told him I was trying to grow it out and he listened). For tonight, I've locked the scissors away and I'm going to veg out and watch the lightning storm (or flash photography) outside. I was a good girl and did my treadmill all week, so I get tonight off.

BTW, at work, we get 'lightning alerts.' They send a mass email out to let people know that there might be lightning somewhere in a six mile radius. I await, with dread, the day that they lock the building down and won't let us leave until the danger has passed...

I wonder what would have happened if the pioneers had gotten lightning alerts...
 
 
I was all excited about Mooyah Burger... I made the arduous drive down the area's most congested street -- I even had to get my ass out of the car because there's no drivethru... It seemed so promising... line after line of catchphrases: "fresh-meat-never-frozen", "choose-your-own-toppings", "all-toppings-included-in-the-price", "real ice cream". I was salivating something fierce. The decor was cool... sort of retro with red floors, and an industrial-type ceiling where you see the ductwork. Fingers were crossed. Outlook good.

Got home and tore into the bag... The fries were tasty. The shake was tasty. The burger... not so much... I couldn't taste the beef or the bun, all I tasted was the mooyah sauce, the tomatoes and the pickles (and the lingering scent of lettuce, which I picked off, because I forgot to tell them that I don't like it on my burger). It probably sounds like a flavor explosion, but overall it was fairly bland. Disappointment set in. I have to work extra hard on the treadmill tonight and I didn't even enjoy my splurge... Suck-o-rama. Turns out that the best thing about Mooyah Burger is that it reminds me of Mooby's and that reminds me of Kevin Smith. Yea for Kevin Smith!

So last night I made it about 3/4 of the way through The Devil's Rejects before I gave up. I didn't even chicken out, I just got tired of watching impossible situation after impossible situation. The characters were so unlikeable that I didn't even flinch when the torture started... the kind of people they were... I just couldn't find it within myself to feel sorry for them. I have an evil side (that I supress) and it was pleased, because they deserved it. To summarize... huge fan of Zombie's music, but his movies? Not so much. I tried though, I really did.

Real world observation... it's amusing to watch a power struggle between polite people.

My trip to OK got delayed by a week. I did manage to find a discount on the hotel room... airfare is still the same. Pretty sure I'm still going to do it, but now it's looking a smidge less likely (more time to talk myself out of it). I'm a little like that girl in Serendipity... I look for signs, and when things start to get complicated... I start to wonder if that's not the universe's way of telling me to back off. Maybe that's silly, but I've already copped to being a silly girl.

So I'm fairly convinced that there's someone out there who has nothing better to do than follow me around and sabotage my chances of having a love life. Not literally, I hope, but I'm running out of explanations as to why things always look so promising and suddenly take a nose dive. Maybe that person is me? I am, after all, the common denominator. I dunno. Maybe things were never that promising, I just chose to wear the rose-colored glasses. This afternoon I imagined two characters having a conversation. One of them recognizes that she's alone, but says she's given up. The other person calls her out on it, says surely she hasn't given up. She asks what it matters -- whether she tries or whether she doesn't, the outcome is the same. That's kind of how I feel.

Refer back to the flowchart.

Tomorrow I get my hair cut. Was supposed to be today, but my stylist got sick. STRESS!!! And that means no happy hour, because I'm getting my hair cut instead... Maybe I'll try to put another HH together next Friday. Last one was fun... small and relaxed... the kind I like... no drama, just fun.
 

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