The agent giveth me hope... and the agent taketh it away. This morning I was elated to see that another agent wanted me to send a sample chapter, but I felt the impending hand of doom when she also stated that she wasn't sure if my book was right for her. She said she'd read it right away and get back to me. True to her word, within two hours my once-high-hopes were dashed. I would be crushed, but I have a lot of irons in the fire, and it's a very subjective business.

Not going to linger on it. In fact, I'm going to continue to make edits tonight, and hopefully print a hard copy so that I can read the whole thing through next week, one with all the changes incorporated into it. Yesterday I sent out 35 more queries, and received no rejection from the agency who requested the full. No news is good news... unless they tell you that no news is bad news. *pulls hair in frustration* There are about fifteen more agencies I will approach once I print the query letters out (snail mail only), and another twenty that I can contact once I write a synopsis... I'm really hung up on the synopsis but there's an agent that I really like on that list, so I need to do it for her... lol

I finally joined a writer's group (of sorts), a site called Absolute Write that I've been using to get agent information in cases where the agency doesn't appear to have a website. So far people have been friendly and I've run across a couple of interesting author websites. It's intimidating to read other people's work, because I have a tendency to make comparisons to my own writing. My writing tends to be pretty simple, no epic battles or complex worlds, mine's more relationship-based and internal. Thank god there's a market for that, and hopefully there's room in it for me!

...I don't know how many times I have to find myself in the middle of making dinner only to find that I'm missing a key ingredient before I start to pay attention to the frickin' recipe. I got Monterey Jack instead of Mozzarella... no big deal... but I totally overlooked the riccota. I don't know if this is going to work out or not, but there's an interesting substitute (no amounts specified so I winged it) of cream cheese, egg and parmesan. Dinner's in the oven now... we shall see. Casseroles tend to be pretty forgiving.

This week I've decided to test my willpower, and yeah--go ahead and laugh at how pathetic I am... I intended to cut back from three sodas a day, to one. I ended up cutting back from three to... two. Yes, it's still progress, but I didn't meet my goal. So this week I'm going to adhere to it, and I'm going to cook meals from Cook Yourself Thin, and I'm going to hop on the treadmill every day and burn at least 250 calories. If I don't see a difference this week, no matter where you live, you will hear my scream. I figure it's six days. If I can't last for six days then what does that say about me?

And you'll be happy to know that I survived the night, in fact, 30 minutes after finishing the movie I was in bed asleep. I am a badass! lol

I used to watch Animaniacs and they had a segment called "Good Idea / Bad Idea" (see below) it was always pretty entertaining. One day I came up with my own suggestion:

Good idea: In order to relax yourself as you're giving a speech, imagine your audience in their underwear.

Bad idea: In order to relax yourself as you're giving a speech, imagine yourself in your underwear.

Well here's another bad idea - knowing you're a chickenshit, and attempting to watch The Haunting in Connecticut... alone... in the dark... because your cousin, who actually likes horror movies, said she's now afraid of monsters under the bed and had to sleep with the light on after she watched it (I'm paraphrasing), all because you've been watching Paranormal State with no problem and want to prove that you're a badass and can't be shaken when it comes to the ghosties. So here I am, writing this blog as I watch so that I don't flee the couch and go hide under the covers...

I'm going to share something morbid with you... my grandmother used to take pictures of people in their coffins. I never understood it. My mom eventually forbade it as being, not only embarassing, but taboo (was gonna say 'mortifying' but realized it was a poor choice of words). People have pretty strong feelings about that kind of photography. But... I think I get it. At least I get where it comes from. It was tradition, though not one I suspect my grandmother was involved in since we aren't British and she wasn't alive during the Victorian era.

My first introduction to this practice was during a screening of The Others.  I think they called it a Book of the Dead... pictures of corpses dressed up and posed like they were sleeping. The Haunting in Connecticut started the credits rolling with more pictures of the dead lying in state... not in a book, but in framed photographs. According to my brief foray onto the web, the practice was called memento mori. You can read about it here if you wish to.

I guess in my own way, I inherited that same morbid gene. I like old graveyards. I like them because they're peaceful, and the gravestones are usually pretty artistic. My favorite graveyard is in Metarie, Louisiana. There you can find all kinds of fascinating structures because they have to bury their dead above ground. I would like to go back again now that I have a digital camera and take better photos. I have a healthy respect for the dead, I try not to bother them, I hope they won't bother me. Guess I'll test that theory when I go to the Greyfriar's Cemetery in Scotland and face the MacKenzie poltergeist.

Crap, I'm out of things to talk about, and I'm only halfway through the movie... I guess it's alright, it looks like the ghost wants help of some kind, so maybe there will be a happy ending?

I'm so gullible.

So... um... The Others... One of my favorite movies. Very well done, suspenseful and poignant. Love the atmosphere that was created, and the twist at the end. Music was great, too... Very Alfred Hitchcock. (I get the 'monster under the bed' comment now... I'd like to say that I'm smart enough not to reach under there, but I would also like to say that when I hear unexpected noises, I don't investigate them)

I think if I lived in this house, I'd move already...

Oh - and Badoo was a Ba-Don't (ba-dum-dum). After 23 instances of the same conversation (he says, "hello," I say "hello" and then I wait for intelligent conversation to ensue... and I wait... and I wait... and it's like that scene in The Sweetest Thing where Christina Applegate is flirting with a guy and all they say to each other is "What's up?"...[insert smile]..."What's up with you?"...[insert coquettish look]..."What's up with you?"...[twirl hair]...); I simply gave up. The true epiphany came after I accidentally clicked on someone's profile and suddenly noticed that everyone had a tag line. One of the taglines was "wants to practice kissing on a girl," and that was actually one of the better ones.

In hindsight I probably should have kept my profile up because it was sure to give me something to write about if I ever get stuck for ideas...

Last night I had a dream that I put myself in cryostasis until I could find the right guy. It was up to my friends and family to screen my potential boyfriends so that I wouldn't waste all my vital years while I waited for Mr. Right to come along and sweep me off my feet. Then, even in my dream I started finding the flaws in the plan... if I slept through twenty years, I'd have nothing to talk about, nothing in common with these romeos. Would I have to wake up and be refrozen each time it didn't work out? Why not just have an arranged marriage? See? Even though my dreams are in color, there are always shades of grey.

I did a search on search engine optimization, to try and figure out how to get my website out there. Six hundred hits ain't bad, but I'm primarily swimming in the same pool and I want more exposure (careful what you ask for Kristy). I found all kinds of social networking sites, and that's apparently key to getting my name to come up on a Google search... as is linking... So I'm now a member of Badoo, Digg, Bebo, del.icio.us, and Live Journal. I'm juggling here... Truth be told I'll probably never log into these accounts after I slap my URL on them and it feels a little dirty. Heh Heh... I like it!

So now I can segue into my experiences on Badoo... I chose to sign up on Badoo because the Wiki I read claims there are 37 million members and it's popular across Europe. I thought to myself - 'I too would like to be popular in Europe! Sign me up!' Well, I am stunned. Ten minutes after registering on Badoo and I'm talking to thirteen guys (I keep updating the number). I never get this much action! It's a little awkward though, because I can't chitchat with people I don't know unless they bring me something to work with. Whether there's attraction there or not, I'm willing to chat. No harm in it, although there is certainly an air of menace that puts my shields on high... I hear my mother's voice telling me that everyone I meet on the internet is a maniac who wants to stuff me in a van and do horrible things to me... and the guy who 'wants to talk to girls about sex' just might be... he just might be...

So I'm sitting here talking to guys in Arizona, Illinois, Florida, Bolivia, the Dominican Republic, and Italy... and 90% of the first contacts say, 'Hi.' So I say, 'Hi.' Or they say 'Hola' and I say 'Hi' because it's important to establish that I can't converse en espanol. I know I'm being nitpicky, but if you're going to initiate the contact, please bring something to the table... look at my profile and comment on something so that I have somewhere to go! Or say something zany and I'll play along. 'Hi' doesn't help me... True to the stereotype (and in this case it's a good one), the Italian man was very flattering, he seemed to want nothing more than to say, 'hello, you're pretty.'

This is going to be a train wreck, I can tell.

COMMENTS: Jeff, I tried to put the counter on the Scotland page so it wouldn't be so in-your-face... I'm trying to be sensitive to your envy, lol!

My samples from Pink Quartz Minerals showed up in the mail today... so pretty... four tiny little plastic vials of shimmery red eyeshadows and one small baggie of a gorgeous shimmery gold. Makeup is my latest addiction, I'm actually ashamed at how many eyeshadows I own, and I just bought more today... (samples from sellers on Etsy! cheap and fun and it keeps me out of trouble because the alternative is Ulta or Sephora or CVS...) So I went online to get inspiration from Makeup Geek, because she tends to do looks that have more impact than my other two faves, Lauren Luke and Kandee Johnson, and I'm still trying to put together a look for Samhein (Halloween). I don't know why, but I have gotten sucked in to these tutorials. My inner Barbie has only recently come out, but now that she's out, she's out with a vengeance.

Incidentally, and I probably shouldn't admit this because I know all books start with disclaimers that any resemblance to real people is purely circumstantial, but I loosely based my character Lauren on the Lauren who does the makeup tutorials. I guess it's not surprising... I observe people every day and over time the character traits find their way into my writing. She just has this every-girl personality that you can't help but like, she seems so genuine and... likeable. I don't know her, never met her, haven't spoken to or corresponded with her, so the character is only a representation... my interpretation... and I'm sure when all is said in done it really does bear no reselmblance to the real person... it's based on her vivaciousness and openness and how comfortable she seems to be in her own skin. I was happy when one of my friends said they loved her in the book. So. Not actually Lauren, but yes, based on Lauren. And the fact that she's also named Lauren? I actually had a character named Lauren in my screenplay, so I wanted to give her a second chance.

This morning one of my friends returned my manuscript with her suggested edits (and no, I haven't gone psycho - I'm still marvelling at the cool binder it's in). Throughout this process it has been so interesting to see what other people think as they read my story, what they key into. Almost everyone brings something different to the table. I love to read the comments... "No!" or "Gag" or "I love this!" or "You switched metric systems." My mom thought the scene in the hardware store went on a little too long, just prior to that, one of my friends told me he loved the scene in the hardware store. You can't please everyone I guess, but I like that I'm not getting too many people pointing out the same issues. Most of what I see is positive feedback, and questions that make me rethink how I worded something.

Tonight I spoke to one of the friends who is coming to Scotland with me, and he asked me if I would help out with a press release for a charity event that his Harley chapter is putting together. Awesome! I love this guy (and the cherry on top is that his wife is incredible, too). Our friendship was forged in  a non-traditional manner, one not likely to have lasted for this long: I met him over the telephone at my last job... over ten years ago... egads! I worked as a buyer supporting the western region of a major telecommunications company, and he was one of the project managers I frequently worked with. We developed a rapport and over time became friends... he's a hell of a guy. As luck would have it, I had a relative living in the same general vicinity, so I got to meet up with he and his wife a couple of times, and we now have this great, almost famial relationship. I guess my point is, you never know who is going to come into your life, or where they'll pop up, but sometimes you get lucky. I feel lucky anyway. Most of the time (gotta keep him grounded).

Spent my lunch hour looking up more agents. I added about 25 to my list, and unless the whole winery thing works out for tomorrow... which is not looking promising... I'll spend a good portion of my day sending out more queries and working on the book (my friend had some valid suggestions so I want to go back tomorrow and implement some of them). My enthusiasm is back now that I've gotten a positive response from an agent, and I know better than to put all of my eggs in that one basket; it's not a yes yet (but it's not a no... it's like purgatory...).

So that was my day. Oh - that, and the bathrooms were out of order for over half the day, so I had to walk half way to Albequerque to pee. Fun! Sometimes I think other people must have way more exciting lives than I do... Oh, and I take far too much joy in puns... a friend of mine is an electrician and he was getting worked up over something so I got to tell him not to blow a fuse... I slay me.

Now I'm going to get off the computer, lie back on the sofa, and watch A Haunting... and possibly freak myself out so that I will have problems falling asleep... even though I'm completely wiped out... I don't know why I do this to myself, but the paranormal fascinates me. If they had a paranormal channel I'd be watching that puppy all day long... as long as the shows were worth watching... and okay, honestly most of them are crap... Paranormal State, on the other hand... that's one of my faves...

...and before I start to ramble again... I'm getting off this crazy thing!

First - a couple of random thoughts:

1. The frozen dinner I had for lunch puported to contain chicken and stuffing with mashed potatoes. What I found inside the box were two strips of chicken sitting atop a pile of soggy croutons smothered in gravy. Ah those crazy marketers... you're a wily bunch who rule the world with your versions of the truth... lol

2. This morning as I drove into work, a security guard - who I've never seen before - said, "welcome back!"... How did he know I was out yesterday?...

On to the nibbling...

Yesterday I sent out several more query letters. It was a matter of getting off my duff, delving deeper into the database and taking more chances (primarily broadening the search parameters from 'paranormal romance' to 'women's fiction' and 'commercial fiction').

...and it might just pay off! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

This afternoon I checked my email and the dread filled me... a response... if I opened it would it tell me that they appreciated my submission but it was a pass... or... *click* ... would they?... *gasp* ... did they just?... OMG, they did! They just requested the full manuscript! Someone wants to read my story! Someone that I don't know!!! Someone who knows publishers!

For those of you who write, you know how monumental this feels... It's not a rejection. It's not a yes, but it's closer to a yes than I was yesterday... and they requested a full, not a partial. It's step 0.5 in the process of getting published, but it's a step that I've certainly never taken before. It's exhilerating and terrifying, because now it's real, now I have a shot - and I'm a perfectionist, so I don't know if I'm ready. After the immediate thrill, there was horror: Did I sell myself short? Is it the best it can be? Did I edit it as much as it needs to be edited? Should I have waited for all of my proofers to finish it first? Did I jump the gun? The only solution I could come up with was to trust that I have put a lot of effort into it, and hope that they like it despite its flaws.

I'm open to criticism. I know a lot of people say that and don't necessarily mean it, but I am. I'm proud of what I've written, but I recognize that there's always room for improvement, and I am definitely willing to listen to the professionals. As I've gotten copies back from my proofers, my thought process has been to:

-- Immediately recognize the critque as valid and make the change (spelling, grammar, things out of sequence, comments that strike a chord)

-- Take the critque into consideration and decide whether I agree with it or not, and if not, I wait to see if more than one person brings up the same issue (grey area)

-- Completely ignore it as irrelevant (something I intentionally wrote to be ambiguous, something that will play into the second book)

Typically I toggle between the first two. I don't get upset with the person for being honest, because I'm asking them for honesty (I do request that they be nice about it though). I don't take it personally, even though it's sometimes difficult, because it is all a matter of opinion and there's no point in getting upset about it. I'll tell you something - being a proofreader takes guts, and I am humbled that my friends agreed to do it, that they trust me not to become irrational!

I know just about diddly about agents (with regard to who the best one is). I read their profiles and usually try to find a sentence that jumps out at me... loves a good vampire story... enjoys finding new talent... really likes a hero with a sense of humor... something that resonates with me. I sort of judge them the way they judge me, to see if I think we're a good fit. I honestly don't know who I'll end up with, only that I will know when it feels right, and that will be the perfect agent... for me.

To put a perfect cap on the day - it looks like it might rain! We need rain... but... yesterday it looked like it was going to rain, too... and it did a lot of grumbling, but not much raining... Right now the sky is a very, very dark grey... Eh, I have pizza coming (the world's best pizza)... and if it rains, I'll feel bad that the poor delivery guy had to get out in it to deliver my food... so it's definitely going to rain... because I feel too good right now and I need to be taken down a peg (kidding... I don't really, I'm humble I swear!).

Oh yeah... I hear the sweet, sweet sound of heavy drops hitting the concrete (and just in time for the pizza guy, as I predicted)...

Ran across an interesting article on how NYC is dealing with its increasing homeless population. Sounds like a decent idea to me, but I do see where the critics are coming from when they say that it doesn't address the underlying issues. It's like a bandaid. It's easy to suggest that families should pitch in and help their own, but that's too simple because it doesn't take into account that some of these people might not have families, they may have drug problems, they may have mental issues, their families might not have the means to help, etc. But to the critics, I ask - is it really up to the city of NY to address the underlying causes? Whose responsibility is it?

It's hard for me to say because I have always been torn when it comes to the issue of helping people (one of the things that intrigued me about Atlas Shrugged). The majority of my makeup is inclined to want to help people who have fallen on hard times, but there's a part of me that bristles at the expectation of it. And the pessimist in me chimes in that some of those people don't actually want help, they just want a free ride in life and they play on people's sympathies. It's hard to know who deserves help and who's just taking advantage, who can be helped and who's hopeless. The problem is too complex.

So on to lighter fare...

I watch tv when I work out on the treadmill (I bought my own because it was $15 less than a year's membership to the gym). Most of the time I watch fluff, because I can't always hear everything, and I'm only half paying attention... it's not the time to watch something I'm truly interested in. That being said... last night I watched Addicted to Beauty. Just what the world needs, another plastic surgery show. A particularly scary one I might add... they make it seem as if you need plastic surgery to look beautiful, when in fact, three of the women on there look downright malformed. Have I mentioned my extreme distaste for lip plumping?

During the course of the show, the owner of the place called everyone into her office to discuss their appearance, and she actually suggested that one of the girls should fix her teeth, told her that she would have had her teeth fixed before she got the breast augmentation if it had been her. She needs to look in the damn mirror before she starts making suggestions. She's a couple of surgeries away from looking like that cat woman. If all that didn't turn my stomach, there's this game on the website to show you exactly how imperfect they think you are.

This article pretty much summarizes my own opinions of the show, except that the reporter thinks the 'game' is cool... Let's call a spade a spade... it's not a game, it's a marketing tool designed to play on your insecurities. If I learned anything from last night's show, it's that they are there to sell you something whether you need it or not (big part of the show was centered around a sales contest).

So after my workout I felt like crap - not about my appearance - I was really queasy, and it stuck with me all night. It was touch and go a couple of times, and I'm not sure I wouldn't have felt better if I had puked... I feel better but I don't want to upset the apple cart by trying to do too much. I'm at home now, watching Ex-Treme Dating... there's not much on and I don't feel like doing anything more than sitting on my butt, so it might be time for a Gilmore Girls marathon (god how I miss that show).

Ah well, this too shall pass.  ;)

I like to clip coupons. I don't necessarily always remember to use them, but it's cathartic for me to sit down with a stack of coupons and cut them out. I think maybe it's like a grownup version of what I used to do as a kid... and kinda like doing dishes (yes, I actually enjoy washing dishes) it keeps my mind occupied and relaxes me. Yes I do know that makes me weird... I won't fight you on that.

I used to only clip the coupons I planned to use, and the rest went into the trash. This week I decided to clip them all and bring the extras to work, someone may as well make use of them. I guess I've been brainwashed about recycling, or maybe it's the economy, but I was feeling nice (it happens to even the worst of us). So I put the coupons into a coffee cup in the break room, but didn't really tell many people about it, just 2 or 3. Lo and behold, this morning there were more coupons on my desk... the Coupon Fairy came... none of the the people who knew what I was doing claim to have put the insert on my desk so I don't know where it came from. Kinda cool. I'm um... gonna start the same thing but with money, so feel free to drop off any unwanted currency, Currency Fairy!

I'm currently reading You Have To Kiss A Lot of Frogs - if I thought I had some dating disasters, the main character in this novel puts me to shame. Each chapter is basically about a different relationship (and I use the term 'relationship' loosely), why it didn't work out, what she was thinking as it was happening... It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's had some of these experiences, that someone else has made the same mistakes as I have. I don't have an extensive history because I pretty much know early on whether I'm interested or not, and I don't waste anyone's time if I'm not. I'm also just not the girl that guys randomly approach in the freezer section of the grocery store, or if they do, I clearly don't know the signals to send to get me from 'hi' to 'yes, I'd love to go out with you sometime.' No one believes this, because I put on 'the Kristy show' when I'm feeling anxious, but I'm extremely shy. When it comes to putting myself out there, it has to come from the other person first.

I was once told by a friend that I don't want to date, I want an instant relationship. I couldn't argue the point because I hate all of the awkwardness in the beginning and I don't know how to muddle through it. I really don't like to date, or at least what I perceive dating to be. I don't like the games or the uncertainty. And I'm not innately curious, so I don't have questions at the ready, I have to take the conversation as it comes and rely heavily on the other person to help me out. It means that I can't talk to just anyone, I need the other person to have some snap, to say the thing that leads to the next thing so that the conversation feels (oh how I hate this term) organic. I like conversations that are like a ping-pong match... you... me... you... me... you... I don't like boorish people who always bring the conversation back around to themselves. I don't like talking to people who can't respect my opinion, whether they agree with it or not. I also don't like talking to people who always agree with me, because that's no fun either. People who interrupt me, or can't focus for two seconds really annoy me -the ones who, in the middle of your sentence, call out to someone and then apologize for it just before they do it again; the people who are always looking for the next best thing. I'm a complicated beast, but I'm so, so simple.

Ah well, time to hit the treadmill. It's kind of a sad goal, but I'm going to try to run at 5 mph for 5 minutes straight on a 2% incline (and then alternate running and walking atfor the rest of the 30 mins). Baby steps. I'm not actually tired after 2 minutes, I'm not even breathing heavy, I'm just starting to think that I don't like to run... Dangit, I'm a total social handicap - I don't like coffee, tea, or beer, and now this...

Life without an internet connection pretty much sucks... I never realize how reliant I am upon technology until I have to go without... I was trying to buy international currency for my upcoming trip to Scotland, but I didn't have the phone number... because that's on the internet. I wanted to call Comcast to find out why I didn't have an internet connection, but that phone number? Also on the internet. I found an old bill (because I'm nothing if not resourceful... and yes, I'm kidding about that being a resourceful thing to do), which had the number on it. I called, only to find out that there was indeed an outage in my area, and technicians had been dispatched... they were already aware of the issue thankyouverymuch. I need an outgoing message like that at work... something that gets to the point and tells people to leave me alone, but said in such a way as to imply that I'm being helpful by not taking their call...

So today I want to talk about 'the ick.'

'The ick' is a feeling that you get in your gut when someone is creepy - and you can't necessarily put into words why you feel this way - but you immediately want to run the other way (thanks to my cousin, Jamie, for letting me in on the terminology). Today I met someone who gave me 'the ick.' It had a lot to do with the way they presented themselves; this person bordered on grotesque. That said, sometimes even very good looking people also give me 'the ick,' it all depends on the situation. And there's more to life than being really, really, incredibly good looking (thank god, or I'd be screwed).

It's odd really, how a person could look so completely different if they only made minor changes in their appearance. Have you ever watched one of those geeks-get-the-girl reality shows? Neither have I. But for the sake of argument let's say you got really bored one night and decided to watch just one episode... Me too! Okay, so you understand where I'm coming from. Something as simple as a hairstyle can make a major improvement in the way someone looks, or clothes that fit (my albatross), or the right makeup. Hair though, that's pretty paramount. It's the difference between Kristen Stewart in The Cake Eaters or The Runaways, and Kristen Stewart at the MTV Movie Awards (yes I watched it... I'm a Twilight addict and they were premiering the new trailer - what's it to you?). And Joan Jett rocked that hair by the way... it's just not for everyone...

I'm going to share something pretty mind blowing with you. This is Kandee Johnson, one of the links on my new random stuff page. Sure, she's attractive without makeup (and I applaud her for going in front of the camera with no makeup on), but after she's done, she's an absolute bombshell. It's almost unfair that women get to play around with makeup, because guys (typically) don't, and that means guys are judged on their natural appearance (gasp!)... they have to actually be good looking... we can fudge it until you wake up next to us one morning and wonder who the hell that hag in your bed is... and what did she do with the hot chick?

Last but not least, since I had a raging hangover this weekend, I used the time to consolidate some of my pages in an effort to de-clutter the website a little. The Scotland page now includes the pics and video that used to be on a separate page, I updated the Ireland page, I deleted the sketches and put them with my research, I consolidated my sample chapters and poems, and I added the aforementioned random stuff page which is chock full of things that are really cool; I also added two more recipes. Like I said on my home page, I will try to continually update things to keep it interesting for those poor souls who stumble across my website while they're looking for something else. =) I also linked this to my blogspot account so all my bases are covered (lol, if you click the link it's just going to send you back here... but you know you want to, so go ahead...).

Answer to Greg's question, and a comment -- I know the urine collection procedure because I, as most people have at some point in their lives, have had to provide my doctor with a urine sample before. I know it verbatim because of (and now we come full circle) the internet... And thank you, I thought my website needed a darker format because my book is dark; I like this one, too.  =)

Last night as I lay in bed I watched Taboo on the National Geographic Channel. I really wish I hadn't, but it sounded innocent enough, it was entitled "Healers," and was going to focus on alternative healing practices... Then came the urine part... One of the guys they profiled claims that since things come full circle, you should drink your own urine to derive the health benefits of something that came from your own body. He drinks a glass of fresh urine every morning and claims it's beneficial in fighting everything from cancer to the common cold. Even more amazing, he has people coming to him to learn the practice. Even though they seem to be as repulsed by it as I am, he bangs on the drums, it relaxes them, and they do it. Pretty magical drums.

I'm thinking they can't be that smart to begin with, because... what's to learn?

Step 1 - pee in a cup
Step 2 - drink it...
Step 3 - barf into toilet
Step 4 - flush
 
...or just take the shortcut and pee directly into the toilet and flush. My stomach began to churn as I watched him put a glass of yellow liquid to his lips. The only reason I didn't barf is that I convinced myself that it was beer.

This is an interesting article on the subject. I'm not convinced, so don't expect to find me walking around in the mornings with a cup of it in my hands, it feels icky enough when I have to carry the cup with my own urine sample in it at the doctor's office. I can't imagine starting my day that way (or any part of my day for that matter). From a practical standpoint I wonder about bacteria, because when you're giving a urine sample they tell you: "To perform this test, first urinate a small amount into the toilet bowl to clear the urethra of any contaminants. Then, collect a sample of urine in a clean or sterile container. About 1 - 2 ounces of urine is needed for a test. Remove the container from the urine stream without stopping the flow. You may finish urinating into the toilet bowl. Take the sample to the lab."

I suppose in some respects, this is ancient medicine. They claim that people in India and China, as well as native American indians, did it and some still do it, but back in the day they also did several other things that weren't terribly smart. And they thought the Earth was flat.

In Jean Auel's Earth's Children series, Ayla used urine to bleach leather... that I can understand, it's still kinda gross, but it was also kind of smart especially since there was no scientific basis for it at the time. And astronauts do essentially drink their own urine - but it's been filtered and treated and turned back into water... it's not fresh from the tap, so to speak. I might still have issues putting that cup to my mouth, but it's definitely not the same as what they were showcasing last night. I know that your own urine is sterile; I know that because when I got my navel pierced I was given a generic sheet that included cleaning instructions for genital piercings (something else I don't understand, but is somehow less startling to me than this drinking thing). That said, there are lots of sterile things you don't want to ingest, like isopropyl alcohol.

I guess whatever works... I don't think it's illegal (although it might be), it's just disgusting. Personally, I have no wish to get to know my bodily wastes any better than I have to; if it were up to me I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom at all (and neither would my cats). I would have to be in dire straights to drink urine... pretty dire indeed.

And since I always get those random thoughts going through my head, I'll share the two that popped in as I watched the guy down a cup: What does his breath smell like? Would anyone kiss him knowing what he just put into his mouth?

Went to happy hour last night, only intending to stay for an hour or two and once again staying out all night. I should have stuck with the cider. But I had a great time. And everyone has made me believe that I look like Kirsten Dunst, more or less, lol. I was out shopping a couple of years ago and this guy rounded a corner, coming toward me with eyes big as saucers and said, "Oh my god... you look just like that girl... what's her name... she had red hair in that movie... she was in Spiderman..." I said, "Kirsten Dunst?" and I was puzzled. "Yeah! You look just like her." I was flattered but still puzzled. A few aisles later we ran into each other again and he says, "Just like her!" So last night, out of the blue, a friend said the same thing (albeit less dramatically) and it brought the memory back. I'm totally flattered, I still don't see it, but I think she's gorgeous, so I'll accept it as a compliment and smile.

Woke up this morning with a pounding headache and pretty much slept the day away. Only got up to eat, work on my bucket list, update my budget and try on the clothes I intend to take to Scotland, just to make sure I don't need to rethink the wardrobe. Some of the tops were a little snug, but I'm happy to say that most of them fit now, and the ones that don't have been replaced. All in all I wasted a day, when I should have gone out and done something, but I think I needed it... there's been too much going on lately that I was just constantly exhausted. I feel reenergized now, so maybe I will feel like getting out more... sigh... I remember what it was like to have a life...

I'm watching Underworld: Evolution on FX, and as they come off the commercial breaks they're showing how they created the special effects in the movie. I always find that fascinating. I can't think that wire work is easy to do, but they make it look effortless and the ingenuity of what they create is just magic. I used to want to be a film editor until I saw how little money they make (in comparison to the cost of living in California), and then I gave up that dream. I still think working in the film industry would be a really cool job, something a little different every day.

Rearranged some of the pages on this site, there were too many... there are still too many, and I still want to add more and more information. I just added a Random Stuff page. As I was looking for a peasanty top for my Halloween costume I ran across Etsy.com and thought it was incredibly cool because it's an online marketplace for people to sell handmade stuff. They really have some nice things on there, and I did find a blouse (as well as a billion other things I want if I had the money), and some makeup. I thought it would be neat to have a page with some lesser known websites, if nothing else, for my own records.

I like the idea of going back to basics, and I think that's why a site like Etsy is so appealing to me. There's too much mass merchandising and not enough passion, everything looks the same, quality is low. I like to think that people who are trying to build a business based on their own handiwork put more heart into it. I think part of the problem we have in this country is that we've been trying to produce more and not better, we replace people with machines, and expect people to work for the lowest wages we can get away with paying them but there's no sense of community anymore, no sense of pride. I know it's not the case all the way around, but it's pretty widespread and it frustrates me. I like going to the local farmer's market, I like to find rare gems, my house is mostly furnished with stuff from antique stores because it's unique, the craftsmanship is superior, and it's actually cheaper if you go to the right stores. Stepping down from the soap box...

I'm still working on the makeup for my Halloween costume, I think that my eyes need to be rimmed in red, but I don't know what to do with my lips, black is too jarring, and red battles with my eyes. Good news is that I can play around with it for a while until I find something I like. That's part of the fun of being a girl and getting to play dress up.